Heading out again…

But this time I’ll have no computer with me.

A few musings before I go…

While I’ve had marvelous fun traveling, I should have given myself more down time during August. This ten-day trip with Shane and father will be at least partially downtime. Whew.

I would like more individual, one-on-one time with particular people. I like feeling deep connections, kindred spirits. I like people with whom I can wander the intricate paths of my psyche.

I want to have pure recreational time with friends. Much as Disneyland was. I intend to go skiing with San and the other Davis folks. I would rather go into mild debt for a good memory than live frugally and risk not living fully.

Bonfires and good times. Hopefully I can reach friends and arrange such at a few points this year.

Pathway… will resolve itself. Already I feel very comfortable – even without knowing exactly how it will turn out.

Anam cara – a phrase that recurs. Especially with Sandy. There are a few people with whom I have felt utterly at ease and unsurprised. Rather interesting that all three strongest instances are at Davis right now.

My understanding of myself, my relationships with people, and my world overall – much deeper now. Intuition is becoming more trusted.

I feel more comfortable and confident in myself now. Still have crashpoints, still vulnerabilities, but much more aware of them. I see them coming from farther away. Next I shall learn how to defuse situations, how to lessen the blows.

I am heading into a period of prolonged introspection – evaluation of my hobbies, activities, paths, desires, needs, interests, values. I want to explore new ones, and thus need to consider where next I shall turn my attention. Need to keep myself more uncommitted to events and dates and times – increase flexibility.

Still learning to be me.

And now I think I am ready to go off without the daily friends and the computer – ready to go explore my inner landscapes.

~ by jackelopette on August 20, 2004.

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