Ennui
I need a break. I want to go home for a few days, go travelling somewhere and not have to worry about deadlines or projects. I want to go incommunicado as far as business and school.
I think that might be one of the things spooking me about Ireland – I don’t want to waste my trip behind a book or working on papers. What writing I do over there I want to do under my own power.
Things are going to be lonely around Davis this summer. Sandy’s gone for Summer I, Anna pretty much moves out in a couple weeks. I’m almost thinking that Summer II might be the time to stay in Davis, and go home for Summer I… I dunno.
I’m spooked at the thought of living alone for the summer, spooked about studying through it – even now at the end of Winter quarter I need a break from all this. I want to do the 4-H thing full-time and I can’t ’cause I need this degree.
It’s ennui – it’ll pass. I guess what I really want to do is sit down and have someone tell me what to do for the next six months – I know that September 17 is when NAC 180 begins. SLC is August 4-7. Dunno when the VC Fair is… Ugh. No easy decision.
…
And I just got back from planting a Redbud at the state 4-H office. We have named it Charlie, for the little tree reminds us of Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree. We wish it well. And that it outgrows Steven.
…
I want to see Charlie fully grown.
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