In brief… or maybe not.

Has gotten out twice this week. She’s got great jaws… chewed the tabs off her rolly ball, chewed out of her cage via a previously repaired portal. She’s managed to get out before, but I’ve always caught her right away. Thursday night she escaped from the ball while it was near the balcony door – apparently she leaped from the balcony and landed on the grass! I noticed Fizz (the cat) staring downward on Friday night after we’d been futilely searching, and lo’n’behold there was Badger racing around the downstairs apartment’s patio. So I return her to her cage, telling her that she’s grounded. This morning she was out again – I saw a white shape skittering across my bedroom in my peripheral vision. Went off to raft and when I got home this evening, I finally managed to corner her. She was not happy about the idea. I’d already repaired the cage using a metal jar lid, so she shouldn’t be exploring for a couple days more yet. Long enough for me to figure out a more permanent solution. At least it doesn’t occur to the cats that she’s a potential prey animal.

South Fork American River with UCD’s Outdoor Adventures. Sara and Vanessa were fun (thanks for the snacks!), Joe was incredibly funny as he jokingly hit on Steven, who fell overboard with Sandy and Captain Dan (our guide). Masses of laughter with a nice spice of fear while I was watching poor San flounder down the full length of a class III rapid, but it was all okay and everyone’s fine. Soooo many jokes in poor taste; I handle them much better when we’re in a group situation and the innuendo is simply meant for laughter and not masking intent. I’m tired.

I am eternally confused. I think I practice catch-and-release relationships; I find fascinating conversations that have an intellectual spark to them, and often it will develop into a mild attraction but I’m never quite sure how I really feel. I am a chameleon, and I observe the same quality in those around me; we act differently as we encounter different people and situations. I will adapt so completely to one environment and type of company that I notice a frameshift even when one aspect of it changes. It unsettles me; I don’t know how I feel about people or experiences after I leave the room. I’ve assumed a persona and I will know how that persona feels, but when I’m alone in bed writing in my journal, very rarely do I know what I want to write.

So here we are, three of the primary topics occupying my mind tonight, and strangely I find myself waxing philosophic when I am exhausted. I suppose it’s because the normal barriers to abstract thought fall with my energy level, and my brain allows the musings to float freely through my consciousness. It’s funny what I dredge up sometimes.

All in all, I’m doing well. A few speedbumps but nothing I can’t relish as a challenge. I’m gonna sleep well tonight.

~ by jackelopette on May 16, 2005.

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