Senioritis (or, An Actual Post!)

I’ve been looking over class schedules and whatnot for the last couple of weeks. The only thing preventing me from graduating in June would be the class(es) I choose for my emphasis. I’ve got the mini-minor thing figured out; just two more upper-division Latin classes, and I’m golden.

I’m ready to be done with this whole ‘taking classes’ thing, but I don’t feel ready to leave the college scene. There are things that I would have done, or done differently… but I suppose that’s all part of the learning process. I don’t want to go straight into graduate school. I need a break from the class routine, and I want to experience the ‘full-time job’ thing before I commit to another degree.

I have a few potential paths.
(1) Walk in June, do a summer-abroad thing (finally), spend the equivalent of fall quarter in DC as a program assistant, figure out there what I want to do next.
(2) Graduate in June, find a job. Somewhere.
(3) Do something over the summer (that pays), graduate in December, deal with the real-job thing then.
(4) Permutations and combinations of the above.

I’m reasonably certain that I want to continue working in the 4-H field, doing something on the programmatic side of things. It’s a good place to start, certainly. If I want to continue in 4-H beyond a program representative level, I’d better get a graduate degree in education or youth development or something like that. Or maybe I want to go into the organizational operations area, and get an MBA.

I think I’ve pretty well established my legacy for Collegiate 4-H at UC Davis, maybe a bit at the state and regional levels. I’ve written off National as a lost cause, at least as far as my interest. I’ll go to the conference, I’ll hang out with a few good people, but there’s no spark anymore. And at this point in my game, that’s all right. I don’t need to keep fighting – there are people behind me ready to take it on.

I have a kitten sitting on my wrist. I wonder how that affects whatever repetitive stress syndrome I’m going to develop. Wow… my generation is going to require massive improvements in current ergonomic equipment when we all start feeling the damage of a life spent in front of screens and typing on keyboards. Rather scary.

Disregard the above paragraph as my parenthetical ramblings.

It’s been four years since the last time I recall having to make decisions like this. Then again, at that time I was still convinced about my direction and career; now I’m wondering about the next step. It’s easy to make plans, but there are always things that come up to thwart or change them. I guess I’m not all that worried about it. I’ve watched enough of my fellow travellers to rest assured that whatever I’m to do, it’ll happen. Opportunities will arise, indeed they’ll land by the dozen on my doorstep unbeckoned – all I need do is choose from among them and act. That’s the hard part.

The other difficulty is in bidding farewell to the paths unchosen – I have to live with the knowledge that I could have been a music major, a proper English major, any number of things. A veterinarian. Regardless of the possibilities, I chose what I’m doing now. I’ll choose again and again… there’s never a point where I can sit and say, “there, now it’s done, I’m here and I’m content.” Nope. The flip side of freedom is responsibility; having all these options available means that I have to live with the choice I make. There’s no excuse to live half-way; after all, if I’m not enjoying it, why did I choose it in the first place? All I can do is move on and choose something at the next junction. C’est la vie.

Speaking of which, Sandy gave a kick-ass presentation on Franch geography, culture, and language. When next I visit France, I shall know the best way to make my vulgar opinion known.

Sandy says that’ll be over Spring Break. We’ll see. Once again, choices.

~ by jackelopette on November 16, 2005.

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