Holy Saturday… or Tax Day.

I’ve been feeling pretty roller-coastery lately. I think it has a lot to do with the weather; after near-constant grey-dreariness and heavy rain since New Year’s Eve, the occasional days of sunshine in the last couple of weeks have been throwing me off. I know I’m affected by sunlight levels. Having the rain persist this late in the year doesn’t help.

It doesn’t help that I’m feeling very… reluctant to graduate. I’m not so attached to the idea of continuing my classes, although the idea of a second bachelor’s in something entirely different like music does have its appeal. I think I’ve finally become emotionally invested in this campus, this city, and with only a few months to go.

I’ve decided (and not just through lack of meeting graduation filing dates) to continue here an extra quarter. That puts me in both the December graduation slot and the December Commencement… so I won’t have the dichotomous diploma delay after Ireland. I’ve told Sandy that I’d like to live with her next fall — she and Xochi (another animal science type from G Building) are looking for a house. They’re aware that I may end up taking off for a few months in the beginning of next year, depending on which of my many planned applications gets accepted, but I do think that Davis is a good place to spend the first year or two out of college. Partly I’m following Steven’s footsteps, partly I’m still very unsure about what I DO want to devote my study-brain to doing, and largely I’m not ready to leave behind this highly entertaining group of friends and places.

I managed to track down UCD’s HR and Employment pages; if I can find a full-time admin assistantship somewhere on campus, that’ll be an excellent way to maintain my ties with the school while partially subsidizing my further studies. Steven’s been talking about taking off next winter for new horizons. I think that I would be a very green replacement for him, and I worry about damaging the program with my learning curve, but I think it’s worth applying for the job. At least I’ve been watching over his shoulder for long enough to understand the current state of things, and it’s an incredibly supportive work environment.

It’s funny. When I first switched to Nature and Culture, I was desperate to escape Animal Science. I felt trapped in it; the classes and schedules were so regimented, the lab science courses seemed to outweigh the actual animal topics, and I was having serious doubts about the whole pre-vet track. NAC was a means of getting out with a degree, and one that would allow me to pretty much decide what I was going to study. After two years, I’m not sure I would recommend it to anyone without the diverse background I’ve been so lucky to have. My classmates in the core classes (NAC 1, 100, 180) have been… diverse as well, but some seem far better able to evaluate the materials than others. I guess NAC is best for students who have a strong idea of both their goals and their interests, or for those who reject the more structured departments on campus. I enjoy the core classes; they’re taught by two professors from both the humanities and the science sides of campus. I like the way we’re encouraged to consider the ‘softer’ side of science and industrialism and the ways in which we humans interact with our world. I guess I rather miss the academic rigor of ANS in some ways. I think between the two, I’ve gotten a pretty good sense of agriculture’s nature. I just feel more prepared for the ‘real world’ by my 4-H work than my academic work.

I think the real issue is that I thought I had that singular driving passion (pre-vet) and realized that it wasn’t such a force as I’d first believed. I haven’t found any replacement for it yet. I feel as though I could, though, in this town and on this campus. I’m nostalgic and a little jealous of Sandy in that regard; we traded places after that first year in the dorms. I was sure of being pre-vet, she didn’t know what she wanted to do. Now she’s really enjoying her Animal Bio classes and doing some great things. Then again, she enjoys lab work. I don’t.

Anyway, I’m running a little too close to that overly-introspective edge, so I’ll end with a quick sum of my current state.

Ireland has not yet been confirmed. As of Thursday, we had 14 enrolled, leaving us 2 shy of the minimum. I haven’t heard yet what the final tally is, since Friday was the deadline. I’m fairly certain that we’ll go ahead with the trip, I’m just edgy because we’re in that gray area. Urgh.

Summer plans likewise are unconfirmed. The Patagonia thing may or may not work out, there are a few potential barriers, but at most I can work 6 weeks. So, I figure that’s either 6 weeks at Patagonia or 5 weeks finishing off the YIG stuff and 2 weeks at home with friends and Fair before SLC at UC San Diego and 4 weeks in Ireland. The summer plans in turn will determine when and how much of my stuff will end up in storage for the summer, and whether we can sub-lease the place… blah. Basically the city-wide move-in date is September 1, which varies individually by complex and tenants. So Sandy and Xochi would have to move into the new place without me, ’cause Ireland ends September 12.

I will be marching with the Classics department in the Picnic Day Parade on Saturday (April 22), in a rainbow Greek-style dress, for I will portray Iris, the messenger goddess. I’ll have gold wings, too. I may be joined for the rest of the day by Tommy-from-Nevada, who wants to see how UCD parties. The rest of the gang intends to imbibe and enjoy copiously. After all, it’s Picnic Day, what better excuse to party?

Steven has been in Europe since the 7th (a week ago Friday) and will return on the 21st. In time for Picnic Day. Sandy’s birthday is the 23rd — Hangover Day.

I caught the Band-uh practicing outside PES on Thursday. Apparently they get newbies all the time, and all I need do is show up to the Monday rehearsals at 7 pm and find someone to teach me to play an instrument, since I’ve got some experience with both reading scores and maintaining a musical part.

Whew. No wonder I’m feeling stressed out.

Parents and friends and family — Happy Easter/Eostre/Passover/festival. I don’t really care what the particular religious flavors are, but it’s all about hope, right? I like that.

~ by jackelopette on April 15, 2006.

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