In Memoriam: Badger the Hamster
The text from last night’s toast:
To the dearly departed hamster, Flying F-Badger. When I bought you, you were supposed to be male so I could name you Poncy Tosser. Instead, you got your name after launching yourself from everyone’s hands at the pet shop, then reinforced its meaning after leaping from our balcony. We thought you were dead then, but you weren’t.
(Tommy: So she was trying to commit suicide from the moment you met her? Shane: Here’s to your successes)
You survived living with Steven this summer, when all he wanted to do was put you in a dry kiddie pool with the birds and the kitty for afternoon playtime. You survived living in a house with cats for an admirable period of time. I’ll miss your gnawing of everything, the squeaky wheel at 4 AM, and the fact that you never bit me.
Goodbye, Badger.