A New Year

Yes, the transitions continue. It’s … strange, how easy and how hard it is to play at being an adult here.

I’m still a college-style internet geek. I’m the youngest person actually at Council right now, soon to be the youngest non-intern employee (more about that when it’s finalized). I’m living in Warren Hall still, starting to look around at other housing options. So much has changed since those first few months of college but I still feel like the same person.

I’m a grown-up now, right? Most of the time I don’t really feel like one. Believe me, I’m not in any hurry…

Sometimes I think a little long-term motivation would help. I’m getting closer to figuring out what I want to do for that long term. What I’m doing right now looks like it’ll work for a good long time – I hope so, certainly.

Being here has given me, to exercise that overused cliche, a little more perspective. It’s easier to deal with the losses of home and childhood when I’m in this city, I think. I can walk along the west end of the Mall and see the names, symbols, ghostly reminders of others who have lost far more than I have. These things bring me closer to my loved ones, at least in mood and heart.

I’m always at the threshold of something. It’s an exciting, intimidating, exhilarating feeling. I’d rather be a little stressed than bored.

Meanwhile, I have family and friends to love, I have a city to explore, someone whose visits I anticipate like Christmas, and the promise of more good things to come. It makes dealing with the downs so much easier when I’ve got hopes like these.

~ by jackelopette on January 8, 2008.

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