Living not in moderation but in endless confusion, despair, delight

I am a creature of contradictions, frustrations, and easy joys.

Seattle and surrounding areas were gorgeous this weekend – snow, sunlight, friends, boyfriend, explorations, roses, and chocolate. I managed to acquire the flu from a coworker so I’ve spent the last few days popping pills to keep the fever down but apart from the sick I had a fine old time.

March approacheth, with all the huge project milestones and beta and visitors and friends and conferences… birthday and festivals and springtime. April with its copious travel to California. I am a springtime kind of girl.

I find it harder and harder to resist the idea of returning to the west coast. I am also becoming more and more comfortable in this city. I’m not really sure how these two reconcile themselves with each other, but here I am. I am searching for housing without really wanting to do so, which is an awkward frame of mind to be in.

My cell phone got bricked last week – by which I mean that a “software update” allegedly from AT&T turned my cell phone into a beautiful, expensive brick. The warranty replacement phone should arrive soon, but in the meantime I am without calling ability. Perhaps I’ll try some of you on Skype.

Work is busy, stressful, pressured, and rather satisfying. I come home too exhausted to think very clearly, but I am glad to have full days.

I have roses and chocolates on my desk. I’m cautious in believing that this is a happy February but here is the evidence in front of me, denying the last five years’ experience. I can’t describe how relieved I am.

It’s not that I don’t have my share of disappointments and frustrations, it’s more that I’ve got far more things keeping me interested and hopeful in the world than I’ve had in previous Februaries. I’ve their experience to remind me that it does get better – indeed, look at where I am right now.

Now, if only I could straighten out the cell phone, housing, and need for a teleporter… I’d be set.

~ by jackelopette on February 19, 2008.

%d bloggers like this: